Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Shedding tears

I made a grown boy cry today. I feel horrible. It started as an everyday confrontation - I was taking away his phone - the school's policy when a student has their phone out in class.

He was more reluctant that I expected - especially because this is one of my most stellar students - the kid that actually asks for homework and does everything possible to make me a happy teacher. He said he needs to call his parents during the day...

But dear student, unless there is an emergency, you can not do this. And he surrendered the phone  and apologized. But I could tell he was becoming increasingly  more upset.

Towards the end of class, some 40 minutes later, he was so upset that he left the room. And when he returned he was full out bawling. He wouldn't talk, or couldn't really because he was so upset. And I finally got him to say a single sentence.

Teacher, I no have parents.

And he lost it. I wanted to lose it too...the pain that was written on this boy's face. And I was confused - he said he needs to call his parents...is he calling to listen to a voice message? Maybe they are in Mexico while he is here. And when he returned to my room at the end of the day to get his phone, he clarified. No. No esta aqui - no esta alli - no esta. He lives with a guardian.

How hard this obviously is for him, I told him I can't begin to comprehend, and that I'm so sorry.

So I re-learned a valuable lesson today - how blessed I am to have parents that love me. And I remembered how infinitely blessed I am to have a Father in heaven that loves me. I want this child so desperately to know he is not alone. All of the students in my school need this message. I've seen that acutely these past two weeks, because you see, this is not the first grown boy to have cried in my classroom - it is the third.

The first cried because other boys are picking on him and he can't tell his family - he is living here with his uncle and his mother and father are in Congo. He is lonely. And he cried in my class and told me so.

The second cried because he had an earache and his eyes were searing but he has no healthcare. He is a refugee here and his family is past the 6 month period where the government provides refugee support. His father can't afford health coverage for all 8 people in his family. So he sat in my class and cried until I sent him to our school's free clinic.

In a world where boys try so hard to hold in their emotions, it has been heart wrenching to see three young men cry this week and last; a poignant reminder of how broken this world is.

Yet there is hope, and this is what sustains me.  
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

I promise my next blog will be a happier post. But for now, I rest and reflect, to remember yet another deep lesson I've learned from my students. 

 

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

School Profiles just Released

For those of you that wonder more about the school I teach in, I am linking the district's profiles that were just released. Lee High School District Profile.

Overview:
*Graduate Count 07-08 - 226 students
(Graduate counts / dropout rates are always 1 year behind in TEA)

*This means in a school with approximately 2,000 students and an average of 500 freshman, only 50% of the students that began at Lee will graduate from Lee in 4 years.

*Missed AYP 3rd year

More numbers:
  • 100% Title 1
  • 91% Free / Reduced Lunch
  • 85% At Risk
  • 41% Limited Proficiency in English
  • 41% Honors Classes
  • 3% Gifted and Talented
ACT
  • 20% at or above criterion for college admittence
  • 17.2 Average Composite Score
SAT
  • 398 Math Average (National Average 515)
  • 385 Verbal Average (National Average 502)
  • 378 Writing Average (National Average 494)

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Names changed...but my gracefulness has not

Many wonderful things have changed over the past month.  Michael & I were married in June (YAY!) I thoroughly enjoyed the summer relaxing with my husband and setting up our apartment. We've settled into the rhythm (and sometimes disarray) of newlywed life, got a new kitten named Samson, completed my name change and started back to school. 

Though many things have change recently it seems my grand ability to make a boob out of myself has not. If you've known me long, you know I'm clumsy.  Like the silly little third grade girl that falls in the lunchroom and spills all her soup clumsy. One would hope this would fade with age but it seems that my disasters just keep getting bigger.

Michael and I were enjoying a pleasant bike ride tonight through a quiet subdivision near our apartment. The evening was beautiful, the humidity was low, and it felt great to be outdoors.  Things were going smoothly when all of the sudden I simultaneously hit a slick patch of mud and a ridge in the roadway. The result is my tire spinning out of control, my hands skidding on the pavement as I fall, and my left leg being pinned under the weight of my bike and my body. See pictures below.


And the whole time all I can think is ... am I really surprised? No. It's not that I expect these type of things to happen. But they just do and I am never surprised. Tonight though I don't loathe my lack of grace or bemoan the fact that I will never outgrow my clumsiness...but I praise my God. No matter how inept I may feel in my day to day life, this will never change His love for me. And it will never change His truths that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13)

So I feel incredibly blessed tonight to have a wonderful husband to take care of me, love me through my faults, and encourage me to see myself the way God sees me. So Honey, I thank God for you!